


Consciousness of matter

by Nicolelee



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: F/F, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-01
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2018-08-18 23:45:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8180357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nicolelee/pseuds/Nicolelee
Summary: A void of known and unknown, a human who's comprehension reaches further than the average human without comprehension of humanitues reality,constantly asking herself questions she will never gain evidence too.She meets an unlikely stranger who she is uncertain on how she feels about but understands she is the only thing that keeps her/they feeling anything at all,is this lust/love/ or addiction to a mind that sympathises to her own.





	

There was a girl who knew nothing yet she knew everything, people say those who may comprehend further are fully aware of the truth in the world but nobody had ever said once you are aware of the truth in the world that you do not know how to function as an average citizen.  
I will now tell you of a tale of how the girl does not understand the humans around her or how she is to be able to function as the human she is, yet will always ask as to why.

"Delphine you can not keep influencing your siblings like this, there's something wrong with you .....YOU NEED HELP" this was the most shockingly devastating statement by her mother for a while as she knew Delphine was undiagnosed with a personality disorder yet this wasn't the problem, Oh no this was not the problem at all but as to what occurred when Delphine was diagnosed,so even though I am seamlessly fast-tracking, you will understand as to why.

*waiting for their appointment,stimming to crystal castles concrete* "Miss manning" *peers up to the warming human who greets them* DELPHINE:"Hey dude".  
The thing about Delphine is they are not able to greet in a casual way, their quirks are sparky and vary on the situation.

KARA:"My name is kara and I am your assigned mental health nurse, I understand you are under prism....now prism is the section of pyschosis, I also understand you suffer from high paranoia, dilusion of rea-

DELPHINE:"But you do not understand REALITY DOES NOT EXIST!.-

KARA:"But Delphine it does-

DELPHINE:"Reality is only the concept of what is existent to the individual human, as reality is only existent in the boundaries of our minds,If anything is true here is that Reality is a feeling not a state of matter in the physical realm of our multiverse"

KARA:"Well that is interesting but as i was saying....I understand you have also been suffering from self harm and suicidal thoughts"

DELPHINE:"I have been much better with the self harm, I still hit myself but that is when i am overwhelmed, people overwhelm me, I don't really get humans...you know like their concepts of the world are highly ridiculous, how can someone allow themselves to be enslaved in a system by corrupt governmential laws which are against freedom, I don't personally feel like i fit in society.......(4) My last REALYY TERRIBLE Break down I remember sticking a knife to my throat I remember screaming not like in a whiney way but in the way i sounded demonic being so full of dark energy and it felt like a detachment from myself as a person I Screamed to my mum to put me into a mental insititute I SOOOO WANTED TO KILL EVERYONE Around me but I can control it enough to take it out on myself so i stuck the knife to my throat instead of my family's-

KARA:- SO HANG ON WHY DID YOU NOT KILL YOURSELF?.WHY DID YOU NOT GO THROUGH WITH IT"

DELPHINE:"I Don't know I just didn't....I don't remember why I do what I do, I can't remember most things I say when i am angry"

KARA: "You must take responsibility, you can control it, it's down to you......If I am honest you tick every box for borderline personality disorder, so you need to be back in a month"

In all honesty Delphine felt victimised from Kara's words so had zoned out and left.That's the thing about having a smart non brainwashed mind, you are made to feel like conformity and reality is something you have to be a part of, if at all honest Delphine did not believe such things, she believed in spiritual guidance and the consciousness of matter which had created the multiverse and the infinite energy of life itself. It's funny how someone you meet only a few months ago can accept you for everything you are, every flaw, every detail of your mind and body and love you for it and understand when you're in doubt of yourself and understands when and why you do something to keep yourself sane enough to cope with your own mind. Well Lily was this person to Delphine, she wasn't Daisy although Lily was the best thing Delphine had in her life in this current moment, Why would someone so beautiful and everything she could have ever wished for, such a shame that such a wonder was already taken. DELPHINE:"Do you know what's strange, like the whole being a human in society things, I just don't get humans" LILY:" Me neither, I don't want to be one" DELPHINE: "I understand that i have to be balanced with all forms of life and see me as equal to them but how can I do that when all humans do is destroy everything and see currency and systems to be meaningful or a way of living, the truth is the limits of how we live is by the boundaries of our minds, I just want to leave and move to canada or nepal .....To go to where my soul belongs in a community where people care about others and are not out for money as a resolution" LILY:"I would leave, I want nothing more but I can't leave people behind that I love, society is so FUCKING CORRUPT, People just don't care about others, they just hurt everyone" DELPHINE:"You know what would be awesome is if we travelled and explore abandoned places and forests and just distant places around the world where freedom lies" LILY:"I'd love that, that'd be cool- DELPHINE:"OH MY GOD I SWEAR YOU'RE TRYING TO KILL ME, where did that vodka even come from, you're trying to get me drunk again- LILY -Well yeah obviously *sniggers in the cutest way possible*" As usual Lily and Delphine drunk until they were dazed out of guilt and worry, Lily must drink so much so she doesn't have to feel guilt when she does the things she wants to, she knows when sober that she is responsible enough to feel guilty and is abliged to be what everyone wants her to be. Only when Lily drinks with Delphine does she feel a sense of true freedom, their minds combined was an entire universe of curiosity mixed with tarnished theories but even though their minds tarnished, their souls were pure, they were two eagles in the same realm maybe that's why Delphine couldn't quite understand how she felt about Lily, maybe Lily wasn't quite sure either. The Moral here is that there are too many constrictions and mental structures that are formed around relationships and society,we form a mental state where we think we own those we are attached too but we do not own a single thing other than our own individual souls,Unfortunatly here the situation dictates that Delphine and Lily both understood this but no one else did around them, they understand they can love as much as they could possibly handle but humans look down upon such things. DELPHINE:"Why is freedom such a hard thing to reach if freedom is preached to us everywhere- LILY:"Maybe because freedom can not be reached enywhere but it lives inside of us" DELPHINE:"I always sought freedom through nature, in fact i always thought that freedom would be something i'd find when i travel....(2) through all sorts of people who could teach me on how to see through all of their minds but I suppose so, it would make sense that freedom is truly a form of a symbolism that can only exist from our minds and souls" LILY:" Well I free when i'm with you" DELPHINE:" I never feel freedom or happiness but with you...... I do" "We should stay out here one night, watch the stars and just be around here in nature, it's beautiful here" Lily looks into Delphines eyes with complete awh and admiration. "We should.....(1)we should also make music one day" Delphine smirks with her cheeky wink to Lily, Delphine couldn't help but awkwardly snigger, Delphine tended to be awkward in every action she persuad. DELPHINE:"I Love you" LILY:"I love you too"


End file.
